Having a baby in the NICU is hard. I can only come up for certain times of the day because I have another baby at home. She has been here for one whole week and it sounds like such a long time!
It is really hard to leave her here, but it is also hard to not be playing with my son at the same time. I know that when I am with the one, the other is being taken care of very well....... but, still it is hard.
The other problem is that when I am with one, either one, I feel like I am only half mommy. Nurses take wonderful care of Charlotte, but I am still learning to be comfortable with her. She is absolutely tiny, and seems so frail. Then, on top of all that, she has cords and wires coming off of every part of her body; her nose, foot, chest, and at one point... her belly button!
With Hunter, I still can't pick him up, and I can only get down on the floor with him so many times because he usually wants to get up and play somewhere else by the time I get settled. After a while, my incision is burning really badly, and after that I can barely walk!
I'm not trying to complain, because I am sure that many c-section moms who have healed much more quickly and were back to their active lifestyles shortly after their surgery.
I'm also trying to look at the positives. One is that my body can get some much needed rest at night while she is in the hospital. Since Hunter sleeps through the night, I can go to bed as early as 8:00 and be up at 7:00 with him. Of course, I have to pump in the middle of the night, but it is easier than being up 5-6 times at night like a typical newborn!
It is also giving me some time alone with Hunter again before she comes home. I am hoping that I will start feeling exponentially better every day, and hopefully be able to take him to the Splash Pad in our neighborhood before Charlotte comes home!
The other great thing is that it is showing me, even more than when I was on bed rest, and even more than what we had our first 'bad' ultrasound with Charlotte way back in January..... what amazing friends and family that I have. So many people have offered to drive me to the hospital or to pick me up after a long day at the hospital, or even to watch Hunter for a while. I am so beyond blessed to have such wonderful coworkers and friends!
Keep praying for Charlotte, pray for her to grow, and pray for her to be able to stay awake for her full feedings so that when we do get to take her home, she can in turn stay awake for those feedings as well!
Here are some pictures from our week:
Feeding Tube :(
First outfit!
Time to eat!
Daddy and daughter time!
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